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Flirting 101
Flirting is as much of an art as making love. So when asked to write an article about flirting it was hard not to feel a little over exposed. Flirting is the mating dance of showing off our finest features or feathers while attracting another; how well one flirts depends a lot upon the feathers, the dance of body language, and animal instincts. These are the essential key components to start the process of swapping glances, then phone numbers, maybe kisses . . . well, you get the point.
Every person is a different kind of animal in the flirting ritual so it is important to stick to your true nature unless you are trying to date outside of your species. If you pretend to be someone and something your not the responses you get will be someone and something that won't work with who you really are. Sure you can play the part for a little while if you're the "player" type but given enough time this election goes limp too.
Flirting means putting your best face, feathers, and foot forward. Bottom line; looks matter so wear clothing that highlights your best attributes and hides like crazy what is lacking. This is not necessarily the same attire your favorite actor or actress was sporting on the cover this months rave magazine. Sure spandex and hip huggers can work for some people but neither should be manufactured any larger than a size 10. Avoid muffin top like the plague. Dress appropriately for the location and just about 2 degrees more edgy. For the more conservative sometimes this can be done with appropriately styled attire but in a more edgy color.
On rare occasions going too far pays off. However, looking like a Kansas City hooker generally does not work out well at all. Women remember to maintain the makeup, especially the lip stick. There is no better way to look washed out than with dull, lifeless, abandoned lips. Hint: L'Oreal Infallible lipstick has outstandingly long wear and doesn't rub off. Men, either go with the 6 o'clock shadow and neat dress or go more casual dress with a clean cut. Doing both casual and the shadow is a disaster. Too much casual and you look like mess. However, too much clean cut is much harder to mess up.
Subtle body language is more important for women than men since men are usually the ones who do the approaching. So ladies make the approach easier by not grouping up with all your gal pals like a bunch of pack animals (which women are pack animals), being out numbered can be intimidating. Men are hunters and just like we have all seen on the Discovery Chanel hunters go for the one that strays from the heard.
There are hundreds of ways to make yourself more appealing in body language, most developed by the age of 13 and messed up shortly thereafter by ridiculous articles featuring this months hottest singles tips. Since one of the main points of this article is to be yourself the only pointers on the Do list is do be happy, do smile, do have fun (but not too much), and do be your best self. If you can't do these things then it is best to stay home and work on improving your life before opening the door to bring someone else into your life. If you aren't happy with you why should anyone else be with you? Also, there are a few sure fire ways to send anyone the "go away" vibe.
The don't list is more specific. Don't turn your back to someone you are trying to attract. Don't be talking about anything unpleasant when looking their way. Your facial expressions will send the wrong signals. Don't drink more than 1 drink. That way you have something to do with you hands, you're a little relaxed, and if you do meet someone you can have one more drink with them, maybe swap numbers, remember the law of scarcity and leave. Don't wear uncomfortable shoes no matter how good they look. If your feet hurt and you are in pain you are going to look and walk like you are in pain which is not attractive at all. Looking like you are in pain and desperation are repellants. Again, if you are desperate, work on yourself-esteem before window shopping for that new love puppy. To not do this is to invite more rejection and insecurity and make the problem worse.
Don't wear perfume or colon. Artificial scents block the natural pheromones of attraction. You can sidle up to a real hottie but if they smell like fruity tooty or (God forbid) your ex's favorite fragrance it's going to be a serious distraction to the crucial 3 minute introductory phase that generally determines the outcome of the feather dance.
About the Author
Author Lilyana Lovela is a Life Coach and Corporate Culture Director. She studied English Literature and Biology at Kennesaw State University in Kennesaw Georgia. Lilyana Lovela has over 20 years experience facilitating others to achieve their highest potential on an ongoing basis everything from building custom world first race cars to consulting on over 1 billion dollars of investment real-estate.
To have your relationship questions or concerns considered for a future article contact Lilyana directly at LilyanaLovela@yahoo.com
